Why I’m Not Playing Your Fucking Game Anymore

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Yener Ozturk on Unsplash

You know the game I’m talking about. You like to play it in hopes that I will join in. You want to me to dance with you, play with you, fight this battle with you but, this time, I won’t.

And because I won’t play, you automatically lose.

You thrive on preying on those of us who are kind and sweet and whole hearted. You know that we won’t lash out, retaliate, duel with you. You know that we choose peace and kindness over hate and anger.

So you keep digging. Poking. Nudging. You keep at it until we snap. You wait for us to snap. Oh there is such sweet satisfaction in it for you when we do. You sit back in your computer chair in your dark room, alone, rubbing your hands together, with a Grinch grin on your face. When we snap, in your mind you win, and suddenly you feel victorious.

In your basement, in your dark room, all alone, with your over sized ego. You shout “yes!!” and drink another beer. Alone. In your dark room.

But guess what. I’m done playing your game. Not because I’m tired of you “winning” but because I’m tired of feeding your ego. There is no winning in that.

“When you argue with a fool it only proves that there are two”.

You tried again last week and you almost got me. You jabbed at me not once, not twice, but 3 times. I caught on to your game. It took every ounce of everything I had in me to not retaliate. To not call you out for the douchebag you are. I had to scream at Satan to get behind me. Don’t play this time Iva. It’s not worth it.

But how I wanted to. I fought my demons all day. I had to convince them that fighting with egos is a dangerous and useless game.

“Feed your own ego, I’m busy.”

I’m tired of playing your game because we both know, there are no winners here. If I play, you don’t win, you think you do, I don’t win. Actually, if I play I’m the bigger loser and I don’t really want any part of that. Not this time. Not ever again.

So go ahead and poke me from your keyboard. Keep jabbing me with your useless ego stick. Have at it. Knock your socks off. When I lay my head on my pillow at night I am at peace with myself for not engaging in your evil vicious ego game.

I sleep well at night. How about you? You don’t have to answer that. I already know. You’re pissed that I didn’t take the bait this time and you’ll spend the rest of the evening dreaming up new ways to ‘get at me’.

Have fun with that. I’m too busy dreaming up ways of spreading more love and kindness and being a person with integrity.

So goodnight to you ‘John’. I will pray for you tonight and hope that one day, you will see the light of kindness too. I hope that one day you will heal from whatever demons are eating you.

Until then, go find another pawn for your fucking game. I’m done.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

Podcast anyone?

https://anchor.fm/noholdsbarred

Written by

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: https://amazingmemovement.com/ mini self help eBook series here: https://books.amazingmemovement.com/

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store