Why I Stayed in My Abusive Relationship

And how I mustered up the courage to finally leave

Iva Ursano
4 min readMay 29, 2024


Photo credit: Shutterstock.

I’ll admit it, I certainly stayed way longer than I should have. I probably should have turned on my heels at the 3rd month, the first time he lied. But I didn’t. I stuck around for almost 8 more years (ya I know, what was she thinking?). 8 more years of more lies, bullying, emotional and verbal abuse. 8 more years of second guessing, mistrust, walking on eggshells.

Oh, what joy it all was.

In all honesty, I can’t say it was all that bad. I mean, I did stay for 8 years so there had to be some good in all that, no? Sure, there was some good. I didn’t want for anything, really. He had his very caring and loving moments.

He also had his fun and funny moments. We had some good times. There were trips and parties and other fun times.

But….I definitely should have left many times during the 8 years we were together. Many many times. So why didn’t I? Why did I stay for as long as I did?

Why I stayed…

I’m scared

I’ve been here so long now, with him taking care of me and telling me what to do and how to do it and when to do it, how will I ever manage on my own…