Member-only story
Why I Don’t Trust Anyone Anymore
And it’s all my fault
I don’t. What a pathetically sad thing to have to admit. Even harder to live with. I don’t trust anyone, except my son. I wonder if there will ever come a day I will be able to trust anyone fully again. No clue.
I look back at my life and at all the people I let into my life and then kicked out of my life. Liars, bullies, cheats, addicts, you name it, I welcomed them all in. But it’s not only the people who I let into my life that I don’t trust. Oh no, it’s the people who were and are already in my life. Family, childhood friends, old work friends. It’s everyone.
I trust no one. I really want to though. Trust me, I do.
Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.
For years, well to be honest, all the years of my life, I so desperately wanted to be liked and loved. I wanted friends and lifelong partners. I was always so lonely and empty and broken. I just wanted someone to love me, honestly, and be my friend, faithfully.
And all my life I was lied to. And I allowed it and accepted it. I hated it but the attention, false love and promises that came with the lies satisfied me, albeit temporarily. I’ll take it.
I questioned everything and everyone.
