What It’s Like To Have a Suicide Shower

The shit just got real

When I moved down to Guatemala in October of 2015 I honestly didn’t know how long I was going to stay or if I’d even like it. I told my family back in Canada “I’ll be back in June!!”. June came and went. And another June. And then 3 years had passed, and I’m still here.

It’s suffice to say I love it here and this is home now.

I knew I would be giving up a lot of first world things like

  • real chocolate bars
  • good affordable salon professional hair products
  • red licorice
  • Shopper’s Drug Mart

and many more things. One thing I didn’t realize I would be sacrificing is a normal shower. You know the kind. You turn the knob and super hot water comes out with a shit ton of pressure and it’s safe.

Ya, those.

They don’t really have those here. What they do have is a shower head attached to a pole that has wires coming out of it and taped so it doesn’t fall off.

The shower head of death

There are a few apartments and houses here that do have gas heated showers. I lived in one for almost a year but moved because the apartment was just too small for me.

You have to really weigh what’s most important to you when choosing an apartment here. Do you want location or size? Do you want convenience or suicide showers? Do you want a well priced apt or would you rather spend the extra for extra features?

I chose, location, size and small luxuries over a decent shower.

I remember my first time taking a suicide shower I was a nervous wreck. Ok, truth be told, I still am. It’s like playing Russian Roulette. Is this the time? Is this the shower that ends my life? 🤷‍♀️

It was the very first apartment when I moved down here. The feelings I went through each time I had a shower are still with me to this day. 3 years later. It never goes away.


Not only are they suicidal they also are very sensitive. Want a hot shower? Turn the knob on ever so slightly so a little bit of pressure comes out but not too much and voila, hot water.

Want water pressure? Sure you can have that. Just turn the knob all the way full force on. But you better like cold showers. You can’t have pressure and heat at the same time. Nope nope nope. Choose wisely.

So what’s it really like to have a suicide shower? It’s a nightmare to be honest. The steps go something like this:

  • turn the tap on
  • get the water warm
  • stick your hand in quick and remove it just as quick
  • phew ok that went well
  • stand on the rubber mat because you’re sure it’s gonna save your life
  • pray
  • hair first….ugh….wash fast, really fast
  • pray
  • rinse soap out of hair and get pissed that there’s no pressure and you want to hurry the fuck up because it could happen at any time
  • conditioner next
  • pray
  • wash body really fucking fast while conditioner soaks in sun dried and baked hair
  • is it leg shaving day today? fuck that-I’m single-we’ll do that next time
  • pray
  • rinse hair and body and get the fuck out
  • phew

This goes on every.single.time. I’m gonna be completely honest now. I don’t shower daily simply because it’s too fucking stressful. I take bird baths on the days I don’t shower (use your imagination there).

Would I trade this in to go back to first world living? Not on your fucking life.

Independent of the fact that showering is suicidal, water pressure sucks, and there are a few other third world things are really hard to get used to (like the whole chocolate bar thing 🤦‍♀️), this is home. This is where my heart is and probably always will be ❤

When you move to a third world country you have to be mindful of the fact that you will be giving up a ton of things you are used to. Even some luxuries, or should I say, things I now call luxuries, like a safe shower with hot water and a ton of pressure.

And bathtubs. Oh how I miss bubbly baths.

Peace and love

xo iva xo

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: https://amazingmemovement.com/ mini self help eBook series here: https://books.amazingmemovement.com/

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