To be honest, I’m not exactly sure if it was 6 years ago I started vaping. It could have been longer. It def wasn’t shorter. It feels like forever.
How my vape journey started
One day when I was on my way to buy a carton of cigarettes at the Reserve I stopped off at the mall for a minute. It was a Sunday afternoon. A new kiosk was being set up. It was an ecig kiosk.
I stopped to talk to the people who were setting it up. Everything was still in boxes but they took some time to show me some ecigs, some liquid, how they work and all that good stuff.
I even got to try a few different kinds of liquids.
I never made it to the Reserve that day
I decided right then and there that I was done with smoking. Ecigs provided me with the level of nicotine I needed to satisfy my craving. The vape felt good as it hit the back of my throat like my cigarette smoke did.
The ecig felt good on my lips. The taste of the ejuice was perfect. I didn’t need to smoke anymore.
I was a full time vaper (vapor?).
2 years later a lot in life changed
I think it was 2 years later, I decided to move to Guatemala. By this time I was still not smoking cigarettes and only vaping. It was ‘working’ for me. A year into my life in Guatemala my ecig broke and I was panicking to find another one.
I did manage to find a store, a couple of hours away, that was happy to deliver a new ecig to me. But I had to wait a few hours for it. In true addict fashion, I called up a friend, who smoked, and begged him to please bring a cigarette while I wait for the ecig guy.
And there I was, smoking cigarettes again.
It was too late for me by then
So now I’m back to smoking cigarettes and vaping too. I’m double armed with nicotine with no chance of ever having to do without. Ever again.
I was a full blown addict again.
In the last 4 years I have battled quitting smoking and just vaping. My son brings me down ecig supplies every time he comes to visit. I have coils and liquids to last for a year.
But the battle to quit has been exhausting. I am constantly talking about it, fighting about it, battling it. I’m tired of being chained to a thing (ecig or cigarette) that supplies my body with poison.
This year, the battle is sucking the life out of me. I’m tired of it.
Then this year something snapped in me
I’m not getting any younger. I constantly have a thing in my hand that is poisoning my body. I am constantly sucking on something that is killing me.
And I’m done. I’m done looking like an outcast, looking like an addict, looking like a fool.
I’m done. And I decided to quit it all. Ecigs and cigarettes and I chose a quit day. My birthday, September 25th. I prepared myself as best I could.
I downloaded Allen Carr’s Easy Way To Stop Smoking book, I loaded up with quit smoking hypnosis’. You name it, I did it and I was ready.
And I did it.
But I’ve noticed something very bad
So I’m 16 days in and I feel pretty good. I honestly don’t see myself smoking again but I’m an addict. Once an addict always an addict. Time will tell.
Many have asked if I quit because of all the vaping horror stories that are out now. To be honest, I haven’t even read one of them. Apparently people are dying from vaping? I have no clue really.
People are dying every day from something.
But I’ve noticed something very peculiar and I thought it would go away when I quit vaping but it hasn’t. At all. Not even a little bit.
So if you vape you’ll know that sometimes you get ejuice on your lips or in your mouth. At some point, your ecig just leaks or a little accident happens or whatever.
You’re bound to get ejuice on your lips/mouth. When you do, it burns. It’s hard to describe the feeling. It just feels like little burns on your lips, like little blisters if you will.
And they feel like little cuts on your lips and inside your mouth (by your lips).
I was sure that as soon as I quit vaping that would immediately go away.
Nope. Not even the slightest bit.
My lips still feel like they have little burns on them. I’m constantly slathering coconut oil on them and chap stick. Every chance I get because it’s annoying and uncomfortable.
I’m not sure why my lips still feel like they are being burned by ejuice even after 16 days. Lately I’ve been wondering what my lungs look like.
I know, that sounds absolutely fucking ridiculous. I’ve been smoking for over 40 years and suddenly I care what my lungs look like because I vaped for 6 years?
But if my lips are any indication of damage then I’m worried about my lungs. Don’t laugh or shake your head at me. That’s how an addict’s brain works.
Here’s to hoping
Time will tell and time will also reverse the damage that 44 years of smoking and 6 years of vaping has done to me. I don’t know if my lungs will repair themselves. I can only hope.
I have no idea what they look like.
I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
But I do have to say, 16 days into my quit, I’m feeling pretty darned good though I feel I should be feeling better and I wonder if the vaping has something to do with my slow recovery.
I’m back at the gym 4 days a week with a trainer but my cardio is weak. I feel it should be better by now but maybe that’s just me being too impatient.
Time will tell.
But I’ll be honest, I’m kinda concerned about my burning lips. Why won’t this go away? And what other damage have I done that won’t go away?
You should just quit
I started using ecigs to get me off cigarettes with full intent of eventually quitting everything altogether. 44 years of smoking cigarettes and 6 years of vaping, I’m finally done.
Ecigs are a great tool to use to quit smoking. I honestly wouldn’t recommend using them as long term though. It’s still poison that our bodies don’t really need or want.
Peace and Love
xo iva xo