Today’s Lesson Brought To You By the Letter F!

Nothing is perfect in a perfect world. There is no such thing as perfection really (except for my hair 😜). Things fall apart, experts are wrong, search engines misfire.

Today was a perfectly imperfect fucked up day.

I was positive Mercury went direct the other day but you’d never fucking know it. If all the things that were supposed to go wrong during Mercury Retrograde forgot to go wrong, they all made up for it…today.

Sit tight while I share my chaotic fucking day with you. There will be lots of eff words. I’m pretty done with today.

But stay tuned to the end boys and girls for today’s powerful life lesson brought to you by the letter F!

I’m gonna share with you all the fucking fires I had to put out today because I love sharing all my shit with you and I figure who better to share it with than the people I love. Like you! 😁

The Freelancing Life

I chose this life. This is the life I worked my ass off to have. I’m happy I’m here now doing what I want to do. I can’t complain. But I will. Right now. About today.

But don’t forget…there’s an amazing life lesson at the end, hehe.

So the day started out bright and early because puppies don’t sleep in and they’re assholes. My puppy, Boo, is at the side of my bed at 5:45–6:00 am every.fucking.morning whimpering and licking my arm. Gross. Dude. I need coffee. Seriously. Go back to bed.

He doesn’t understand this human talk. I get up.

The day started out ok. Things were going swimmingly well. Coffee. Meditate. Let Boo out. Journal. Get ready for the gym. And go.

Do gym shit, finish up and walk to my scooter. And………here’s

Fire #1

There’s a fucking ticket on my scooter. What the hell? Is there a candid camera somewhere? I park here every morning. Everyone parks on the street. When did it suddenly become a law to not park on the street? Did I miss a memo? What the fuck?

The ticket is for 500Q which converts to about $86 Cdn. Fuck off with your ticket. I ain’t paying it.

Talking to my Spanish teacher later that morning apparently, I did miss a memo, that happened to be on a Facebook group, that I happen to not be a member of. Seriously?

~crumpling up ticket~

Moving on to…….

Fire #2

Back home, showered, breakfast eaten and now to work…

I tried setting up Xoom to transfer money from PayPal to my Guatemala bank account. After almost an hour, I gave up and emailed them. The site simply wouldn’t accept my bank account number. 🤦‍♀️So then I decided to just have it transferred here to the Guatemala bank and I would pick it up there. That almost went well until a few hours later they emailed and said: “Hey can you call us to verify this transaction?”

What? No. I’m in Guatemala and have no clue how to call a US toll free number…good grief. So that’s on hold or they’ll just cancel the transaction. What.fucking.ever.

Fire #3

Then, Pinterest suspended my account today for reported stolen pins. I get a lot of pins stolen from my account and I report them stolen. So today Pinterest emails me and says “we have several reports from Iva Ursano about stolen pins so we’re suspending you”.

Oy. Hell-O!! I AM Iva Ursano…omg. I can’t even.

So yup, they shut down my account and I had a mini heart attack. Keep in mind that Pinterest drives about 95% of my traffic to my site so if I don’t have Pinterest traffic, I’m working at the whore house or selling tortillas on the street. Neither one really excites me.

Half a dozen of back and forth emails, I get reactivated. But for real? Who’s running the fucking show over there?

Fire #4

I get an email from the property management telling me that my puppy is a nuisance and to keep him inside and when he’s outside to keep a close eye on him.

What?? MY puppy is a nuisance? Did you happen to also mention to the caretaker that HIS 4 puppies and 2 big smelly dogs that run around this apartment complex like they own it are also nuisances?

I’m pretty sure I already know who complained. Again. Whatev.

I knew this would happen sooner or later. I already gave my 2-month notice a few days ago and am actively looking for a house for me and baby Boo 🐾(though he’s still an asshole).

Fire #5

I’m having some scooter issues and it keeps stalling. And of course, it stalls out at the most inconvenient times, like any time around here is inconvenient. People here don’t know how to drive and they have no patience. At a stop, I stall out, the dude behind me just about hits me because he’s already on my fucking ass and then swears at me and calls me a puta (it’s not a very nice word) because he almost hits me.

And me, of course, being the lady I am, told him to go fuck himself. Mm hmm.


Seriously. What did I do to deserve this day?

Just make it all stop!!!!

So you can see today was just one of those days. Nothing went right. It was one misfire after another. By 5:00 pm I was ready to throw my laptop out the fucking window.

Clearly, I didn’t because here I am typing this out for you. But I gotta tell you (here’s your life lesson)…

Independent of the fact that today was a fucking shit show…

I’m still alive and breathing.

I can see, hear, smell, taste, and have full mobility.

I have food in my cupboards and fridge and a roof over my head.

I’m in good health and I have a lot of people who love me.

I’m happy and living a dream life.

I have money and necessities.

I have a puppy, who happens to be a jerk, as a fun companion.

Regardless of all the fucking shit that went down today, life is good. All the fires got put out, but not without me saying fuck a lot.

I’ll fight the ticket. Pinterest was back up and running in a few hours. I’ll figure Xoom out. I’ll find a nice house and I’ll fix my scooter.

Your life lesson for today?

Everything always works out in the end. Always. Don’t sweat the small stuff because, in the end, it’s all small stuff.

Learn to chill the fuck out.

I love you ❤

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: mini self help eBook series here:

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