To the Girl Who Never Smiled at Me

Why do you hate me?

You moved into my apartment building and I got a little excited. I was happy another girl was moving in. I had been the only girl there for months. I guess you could say I had some high hopes. Hopes of maybe a new friend?

Expectation leads to disappointment.

I’ll give you time to settle in and warm up to me. I’m a pretty likable person.

I tried to say hi to you a few times. Actually every time I saw you, whether at the building, in the lane or on the street, I always said hi to you. Most times you completely ignored me, other times you would grunt a barely audible hello.

I could see after awhile that you just weren’t interested in making friends. I totally understand. All good. Your brother who also moved in to the other unit was very fun and friendly and nice. Maybe you’re just shy. That’s cool.

Eventually I just gave up. It’s clear you have no interest in wanting to be amicable. That’s cool too. Could be you’re an introvert and I totally get that. No worries. Or maybe you’re just having a bad day (every time I see you) and I can respect that.

Or maybe you just didn’t like me because you lived underneath me and you could hear me and my friend having ‘fun’?. Maybe you thought I was a disgusting whore. I mean, me being fully inked and having sex with a man who isn’t my husband and you being a Jehovah’s Witness and all. I hope you weren’t judging me. I didn’t judge you.

No clue. All good.

Anyway, you left the country after a few months and returned back to your state. No love loss really. Not like we bonded or anything. Then half a year later you returned.

I saw you on the street but didn’t bother saying hi. I knew well enough to leave you alone. I knew you wouldn’t give me the time of day.

Since you left I’ve moved into a new apartment building. Once again I’m the only female here but that’s ok. I’m more interested in my work these days then socializing and making new friends.

Then the other day while I was Facebook chatting with my son in Canada there was a knock on my door. No one ever comes here. I live so far away. The only people who sometimes knock are the groundskeeper and my friend Lorena.

Odd.

I opened the door and there before me were two women. Jehovah’s Witnesses. I’m ok with that. They don’t bother me at all. Both had beaming smiles and were full of life and warmth. Both beautiful ladies.

I don’t really have time right now I’m talking to my son, I tell them. The one girl still smiling brightly, all warm and beautiful. She then introduces herself to me.

It was you. I didn’t recognize you because I have never seen you smile. How beautiful you are when you do smile. You should do that more. Not when you’re just ‘at work’ or ‘on game’. I wonder if you recognized me. I’m sure you did.

Yet you faked your smile and poured on the sickly sweetness for your job. But wait, isn’t your job to be kind and loving and smiling and sweet all the time? Colour me clueless.

I almost called you out right there and then but I was busy with my son. I wanted to ask you why you have never once smiled at me or returned my simple pleasantries, you know, like ‘hello’.

I’ll ask you next time you come knocking on my door because I really want to know. I’d love to hear you have to say about that.

For now, I’ll laugh at the ridiculous irony of this whole situation. And by the way, you really should smile more. You have the most beautiful smile ever.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: https://amazingmemovement.com/ mini self help eBook series here: https://books.amazingmemovement.com/

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