Member-only story
To My Son’s Father
I’m sorry your life ended this way
I got the call on Monday morning from my son. He tells me he has something sensitive to talk about. I’m concerned. We never have anything sensitive to talk about really unless someone dies.
And someone did. His father.
I’m shocked and saddened by the news. Him, not so much. He never knew his dad. I threw him out when Julian was just 18 months old and we never saw him again after that.
Julian feels nothing. I can’t help but think that I may have had played a part in his death. He didn’t die of natural causes.
He took his own life.
Years of emotional torment and pain, alcohol and who knows what else, finally took its toll.
When we met
We were 25 years old. He was charming and handsome, romantic and caring. After 6 months of dating I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled. I wanted a baby. So did he.
We got married almost immediately. I didn’t want to be an unwed mother.
We both had good jobs, worked hard and were responsible adults. Until Julian came along. It was about 8 months after that he started coming home late from work, sometimes not returning until 3 am, drunk.
