The Sandpaper People Need You

They just don’t know it yet


The sandpaper people. I love this. To be honest, I had never even heard it before today. Someone commented on one of my Facebook quotes posters and used this term.

Here’s the poster quote that was posted on my page Amazing Me Movement

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This lady said “it’s easy to love the lovable ones but God wants us to love the sandpaper people more”.

Now independent of God (because this ain’t a religious bible thumping article) the sandpaper people definitely need more love.

Who are the sandpaper people?

They are the ones who:

  • say hurtful things to you
  • do hurtful things to you
  • take revenge on others
  • gossip and judge
  • point fingers
  • are always negative

Need I go on? The sandpaper people are the broken ones. The lost, sad, hurt, broken and angry. Very fucking angry. And they lash out. Unfortunately, they usually lash out at the people they love.

I used to be a sandpaper person.

You might have been at one time or maybe you still are one. That’s ok. I’m not here to judge and besides, nobody is perfect, amirite?

So the main problem with sandpaper people is that they don’t realize they are broken. They think they and their life is fine. But nothing could be further from the truth.

They are sandpaper people because they haven’t healed their brokenness yet. They still have open wounds. But they don’t see that. Only we can see that.

On the flip side of that, they may know they have deep wounds and demons but just don’t care to heal from them. It makes me sad to think this.

They thrive on attack and conflict

The other problem with sandpaper people is that they attack you because:

  • they think you are weak or
  • they are just so angry they don’t really give a shit, and
  • they’re looking for a fight.

They need to fight. They want to use you as a verbal punching bag. Some of them even want you to argue back. They want you to participate in their anger and hatred. They want you to feel their pain.

They project all their pent up hurt, anger and emotional turmoil on to you.

Their attack on you is a plea for you to feel all their pain in the exact same way they feel it. The odd thing about that is, they don’t realize they’re doing it.

Most sandpaper people think everything is ok. Oh sure, they’ve been shit on, a lot, in the past, they’ve had their fair share of trauma. But they think because it’s in the past, it’s all behind them.

They’ve moved on. Or so they think.

But they haven’t.

You may even hear them say “Oh I don’t give a shit about any of that anymore” but they do. They just don’t want you to know. They want you to think they are strong and over it.

But they’re not.

You can’t help them

You can’t tell them anything different. You can’t tell them they are still broken. They’ll argue with you and tell you ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about’.

They’ll insist they are over their past, but they’re not. They’ll continue with their toxic behaviour because that’s all they know. Healing means forgiveness and change. Many sandpaper aren’t interested in forgiving anyone. Or healing. Or change.

All you can do is love them. Just send them love and walk away. Don’t participate in their hate fest. Don’t argue with them. Don’t lash out or fight back.

Just love them.

Because love heals sandpaper people. Not more hate.

So next time you get attacked by one of them just say “I’m sorry you’re going through this”. And walk away. The more love a sandpaper person gets, the sooner they will heal.

That’s the only you can help them. Just love them. ❤

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

Written by

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: mini self help eBook series here:

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