The Dark Side of an Optimist

Because I don’t always blow sunshine up people’s asses

Iva Ursano

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My good friend Dave labeled me the ‘quintessential optimist’. I love that term, “quintessential optimist” and I wear it with great pride. ….most days.

I mean, I’m probably one of the happiest bubbliest peeps you’ll ever meet. I flit around like a butterfly pointing and smiling at all kinds of ridiculous things marveling at just how beautiful they are!!

I will forget to watch for traffic and whoever is with me will shout “Iva watch out” but because I’m so fucking optimistic all the time, well fear not, that car/bus/motorcycle won’t hit me!! Don’t be silly.

The Awkward Yeti (Image used with permission from The Awkward Yeti-go visit them on Facebook)

Yup. I’m a butterfly…but. Not always.

I see the good in everyone all the time. I know there is good in everyone and every situation will turn out exactly the way it is supposed to. We can’t control people, places, things or events. I very much have a “whatever happens happens” kinda attitude.

That’s life baby, just roll with it.

But…

..some days I lose my shit, when no one is looking, in the privacy of my own home, I freak the fuck out. Mm hmm. I do. Truth be told.

I have my moments when I’m working online and someone in a private group I belong to does or says something and I literally scream at the monitor “don’t be such a fucking bitch, grow the hell up!”. Another one of my favourite things to yell at my monitor is “Omg you are such an asshole”.

I’m also really good at eye rolling at ridiculously dumb comments.

I get angry, I shout obscenities, I call people names. All in the privacy of my own home.

Yup. I have my dark moments. I’m not perfect. Far from it actually.

Some days I want to curl up in a ball and die. I don’t always feel like facing another day. Sometimes I just get fed up with life and work and things and people and I want to disappear.

Some days I cry and feel hopeless and helpless.

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