The Dark Side of an Optimist

Because I don’t always blow sunshine up people’s asses

My good friend Dave labeled me the ‘quintessential optimist’. I love that term, “quintessential optimist” and I wear it with great pride. ….most days.

I mean, I’m probably one of the happiest bubbliest peeps you’ll ever meet. I flit around like a butterfly pointing and smiling at all kinds of ridiculous things marveling at just how beautiful they are!!

I will forget to watch for traffic and whoever is with me will shout “Iva watch out” but because I’m so fucking optimistic all the time, well fear not, that car/bus/motorcycle won’t hit me!! Don’t be silly.

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The Awkward Yeti (Image used with permission from The Awkward Yeti-go visit them on Facebook)

Yup. I’m a butterfly…but. Not always.

I see the good in everyone all the time. I know there is good in everyone and every situation will turn out exactly the way it is supposed to. We can’t control people, places, things or events. I very much have a “whatever happens happens” kinda attitude.

That’s life baby, just roll with it.


..some days I lose my shit, when no one is looking, in the privacy of my own home, I freak the fuck out. Mm hmm. I do. Truth be told.

I have my moments when I’m working online and someone in a private group I belong to does or says something and I literally scream at the monitor “don’t be such a fucking bitch, grow the hell up!”. Another one of my favourite things to yell at my monitor is “Omg you are such an asshole”.

I’m also really good at eye rolling at ridiculously dumb comments.

I get angry, I shout obscenities, I call people names. All in the privacy of my own home.

Yup. I have my dark moments. I’m not perfect. Far from it actually.

Some days I want to curl up in a ball and die. I don’t always feel like facing another day. Sometimes I just get fed up with life and work and things and people and I want to disappear.

Some days I cry and feel hopeless and helpless.

Some days no matter how hard I try to see the good, I can’t find it and would much rather wallow in self pity for just a few more hours. Sometimes I don’t even bother looking for the good.

Some days I sigh and whisper to myself ‘what’s it all for anyway?’

I’m a real person with real feelings. I’m not one of those self help gurus that pretends my life is perfect and ‘yours can be too if you just do _________’.

And there are quite a few times when the “butterfly Iva” just snaps and turns into an ugly moth. It’s the side no one needs or wants to see.

So why am I telling you all this? Like who gives a shit, right?

You know, the world is a fragile place. There is so much love and beauty and hope in it but there is also so much brokenness and damage and anger. The world is in desperate need of more hope, love, kindness and beauty, not anger and hate.

The world doesn’t need me shouting crude and rude things at people in public.

And besides, no one needs to hear that kinda stuff. Ever.

Nope, I choose love. I choose to sprinkle love and kindness and hope. I choose to keep the other side of my optimism behind closed doors. It’s my space where I can release.

I choose to encourage people to see the good and the beauty that’s all around them and to send love to, and walk away from, the ugly.

I choose to use my private space to vent, yell and explode (if I have to), get it all out and be done with it.

The world needs kindness and love.

The world doesn’t need us going around yelling at each other and starting fights and killing and stepping on homeless people. If you’re in a shitty mood, stay home and if you can’t stay home, try to see the beauty and good in everything (and keep your ugly thoughts to yourself).

The world needs us to spread love and kindness to every single human being we meet.

Feed love, starve anger.

I have a dark side, the quintessential optimist definitely has a dark side. We all do. No one needs to see it. Ever.

Nothing is solved, or will ever grow, from anger and hurt. Only love helps things grow. Love is all we need.

Leave your dark side at home. ❤ The world needs love and light.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

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Self help Guru|Expat|Website: mini self help eBook series here:

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