Stop Pretending That You’re Happy All the Time. It’s Bullshit.

You’re not happy all the time and anyone who says they are is lying. Permanent happiness is bullshit.

Do you ever just run into someone somewhere and they just always seem to be happy? And then you think “wow Sally is always just so happy”. She’s not. Trust me.

I’m probably one of the happiest people you will ever meet. Despite the ridiculous upbringing I had and all the adversities in my life, I’m usually pretty fucking happy.

You can learn more about me here…

…and here…

You could say I’ve been through some shit. Whatever. We all have stories. Some break us, some make us. Mine made me the badass I am today and I’m awfully proud of the person I’ve become because of my past.

Anyway, that’s not what this piece is about.

So being a personal development blogger, my one main goal is for everyone to be happy and live a life they deserve, one of crazy ridiculous joy. When we are happy, we can bring cheer to others and then make the world a beautiful place. I know, a lofty goal. I have high hopes.

You know I’m a Facebook page owner (you should really check out my page, it’s super cool) and I share inspirational posters I find them, read them, create them, share them, live them, breathe them, every day all day. That’s what I do. I know, fun life, right?!

So you would think that since I’m surrounded by all this motivation, cheer and inspiration, I’d be happy 24/7. Nope, not even close.

To think we can be happy all the time is ridiculous. You can’t. No one can. If anyone tells you they are happy all the time call bullshit.

When I go out into town, I’m usually happy. I love this town and the people. I mean, I pretty much live in paradise, how can you not be happy? One day a friend said to me “I think you’re phony, you can’t be happy all the time”. I had to laugh. (I love my friends here, they’re so honest.)

I explained to him I’m certainly not happy all the time but when I’m out I am. If I’m miserable or cranky I stay away from people. If I’m sad I do one of two things (or sometimes both) 1) I stay home and cry all day and sometimes smoke weed to numb the pain or 2) I drive down to the lake and sit by myself and process the shit that’s going on in my head (and cry some more).

No, I’m not happy all the time. None of us. We are ‘gifted’ with many other emotions. Anger, hurt, sadness, grumpiness, frustration and a few others. It’s important to embrace all those emotions, learn from them, deal with them and move on.

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” Jonathan Safran Foer

Happiness is a choice, you choose to be happy. I get that. We don’t willingly choose to be angry or frustrated or hurt. Shit just happens and our first reaction can be any one of those. When something bad happens you don’t automatically react with happiness. Let’s get real here.

However, you can certainly turn a negative into a positive and then carry on the rest of your day happy. Yup. You sure can. But to tell someone you are happy all the time? Sorry. I don’t buy it. Stop pretending you have your shit together and your life is perfect and you are always fucking happy.

It’s a lie.

What do you think that pretending to be happy 24/7 is going to do for you? Do you think people will respect and admire you more? Do you want people to secretly envy you because of this facade you keep displaying? Do you think people will want to be like you because it appears your life is so fucking perfect?

Newsflash for you. None of that will happen. We can see right through you. Mm hmm. You’re not only lying to us but you’re lying to yourself. You’re pretending to be someone and something you’re not.

Stop doing that. Just be real. It’s ok to not be ok all the time.

We’d like you even more if you fessed up 😝

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

If you’re into podcasting you might enjoy this one ;)

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: mini self help eBook series here:

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store