Tonight I had a wonderfully delicious and healthy supper. Fish, spinach and corn. It was yummylishus (that’s a word). An hour later, guess what I had? A Nutella sandwich on, wait for it, white bread. Yummylishusevenmore (that’s a word too).
So unless you live under a rock you will know that just about everything is bad for you these days. Here’s a small list of things that you need to ‘stay away from’ in order to prevent the disease of the month. I’m not sure what it is but I’m sure Google will be happy to educate you on that one.
- Nutella (shut up)
- white bread (shut up again)
- chocolate (stop talking to me)
- potatoes (go away now)
- peanut butter (stop it!)
- McDonald’s nuggets (whatever)
And I’m sure I could add a million more things to this list but I won’t. All the items listed above cause all kinds of illnesses and diseases. Yup, they do.
Bread, white bread specifically, is bad for you. Pasta is the devil. Sugar is venomous. Dairy is evil. Potatoes are unacceptable and what about those nuggets?? Oh the horror!
But let’s take Nutella for example. Have you ever read the ingredients on the back of the jar? Neither have I. Wanna know why? Because I don’t give a fuck what’s in Nutella. The only thing I care about is that I love it with all that I am and my belly loves it.
🎵 “Lay me down in a bed of Nutella..la la la..”🎵
As a matter of fact I don’t read the ingredients on any labels anymore. That’s probably not the wisest thing but, you guessed it, idgaf.
Wanna know why? Even if you don’t I’m gonna tell you anyway.
Because I’m tired of reading so much negative and conflicting stories about this food and that one.
I’m tired of reading that microwave popcorn and grilled red meat causes cancer.
I’m tired of reading that smoked meats and pasta cause Alzheimers.
I’m tired of reading that sugar causes depression.
I’m just tired of all the “warning this causes_______ <insert disease here”.
It seems every time you turn around something that even used to be good for you suddenly isn’t good for you anymore.
New studies now report………
Fuck off with your new studies. Soon you’ll have us sucking on ice cubes and Kale chips until you tell us those are bad for us too.
New studies now say that the ice cube trays you make your ice in causes flesh eating bacteria disease….
New studies now say that the soil that kale was grown in is filled with the toxins of a thousand witches and causes your limbs to fall off randomly…
Please just stop. I just can’t anymore.
You know, I’m not entirely ignorant. I do know that some things are bad for us. Like sugar. Yup I get it. I totally get that we really do need to stay away from some foods. I get that most of our foods now are GMO. It’s pathetic to say the least.
I’m not completely clueless. And I’m really very sorry if you or a family member got sick from a certain food. Truly I’m sorry ❤ But. I can’t live my life based on fears because someone died from eating something. I would never eat anything again. I can’t live like that. None of us should.
I have a small list of things I know I shouldn’t eat.
My body even sometimes tells me that it didn’t agree with something I just ate. For me, it comes in the form of either migraines, new zits, bloated belly or other random ailments. I’m not immune.
I know what to stay away from and what is acceptable. Nutella is always acceptable and I don’t give a shit how bad it is for me.
Nuggets are acceptable too! So is pasta and white bread. Oh, and grilled red meat. Make mine rare please.
My nonna (grandmother) died when she was 96 years old. We’re Italian. Guess what she ate a lot of? Pasta, white bread, grilled meat, smoked meat, pastries, you get the idea. The only ailment she had was arthritis from working herself to the bone for some odd 60 years.
My dad died at 88. Same thing. My nonno, same thing, 89.
I just want to enjoy the foods I love in peace. Like Nutella and white bread. I just want to be able to eat what I want and not have to worry about the disease of the month.
I’ll keep on eating nuggets and Nutella (maybe even nuggets dipped in Nutella!!) and chocolate and croissants and pasta and all those other foods that are bad for me.
Because this is the only life I have and I want to fully enjoy all of it. Even the foods that are really bad for me. They make me happy. Why do you want to take my food happiness away from me? Why do you want to burst my happy food bubble?
I’m tired of living a life of ‘watch out for this and stay away from that and don’t do this and this will kill you’. I’m just tired of it all.
So I will keep eating Nutella, copious amounts of it, on white bread and I will die a happy woman. I will die happy because I ate what I wanted and did what I wanted. Because I didn’t become paralyzed and obsessed with the disease of the month.
I’m gonna die anyway, we all are. How I die is not in my hands. If Nutella is gonna kill me so be it. I will die happy.
Because life is just too fucking short to not enjoy the things I want to enjoy.
So please stop telling me Nutella is bad for me. I already know and I don’t really gaf.
“Come here you big beautiful jar of Nutella so I can tell you how much I love you”
Peace and Love
xo iva xo