Please Don’t Send Me a Friend Request.

I don’t really wanna be your friend.

Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash

Now that may sound mean or rude or whatever, but it’s not, really. I take the word and meaning of friend very seriously. I have very few real friends and those are the guys I hold near and dear to my heart.

So let’s head over to Facebook for this one because that’s what this is all about anyway.

There was a time I had about 500 ‘friends’ on Facebook. One day I looked at that number and then went scrolling through my list. There were names of people I had never shared two words with.

Waitwhy are we ‘friends’?

I also noticed a few ‘friends’ who were simply on my list because we belonged to the same networking group and again, never shared two words. What?

Then there were the people from my hometown in Sudbury who used to be friends but we lost contact and stopped communicating after I moved away. I don’t know why this happens, it just does. My life got busy, their life got busy, maybe they didn’t care about what I was doing here.

Whatever the case, we don’t talk anymore. It is what it is. People come in and out of our lives for a reason. Some stay, some don’t.

Anyway, it was time to do some purging. I carefully went through this list one by one. The axe fell and about 200 people got ousted from the list. Sorry, not sorry. I kept an eye on the remaining 300 or so.

About half a year went by and it was time to purge some more. I revisited my list and dropped a few more. I’m down to around 285 and even that will probably even get reduced some more.

So why am I doing this and what’s the big deal anyway?

Friends are a big deal. My friends are a big deal. I want people on my list who I actually care about, engage with and who also care about me. I don’t use my friend’s list as a vanity measure unlike some people.

I’m not shitting on anyone here I promise. If you want 2000 friends, kudos to you man. I struggle keeping up with the 285 I have. I get friend requests all the time. I imagine you probably do too.

I decline 99% of them. If I barely know you or don’t know you, why would I want to be your friend? Are you simply trying to grow your friend list? Not with this girl. Thanx but no thanx.

Do you think because we belong to the same group and we have mutual friends in common then we too should be ‘friends’? I can sort of see the logic here but that’s not how I roll.

Now if I’ve met you somewhere either in person or online in a group and we really hit it off, we talk often and I like you, I certainly will ‘friend’ you. I’m more than happy to ‘friend’ like minded peeps.

The rest of you, meh, not so much. I take my personal profile very seriously. Like my friends. And it’s not because I share deep private stuff on that I only want certain people to see.

My personal profile is an extension of me. It’s me and it’s only for people who are dear to me and vice versa. It’s for the peeps who get me. All of me. It’s not just for some random Joe Blow who is trying to grow his friend’s list to look like Mr. Popularity of the year.

Nope. Not interested.

So, unless you truly really want to be my friend, have the same interests as me, totally get me and I you, and want to sincerely stay in touch, that’s totally cool otherwise…

Please don’t send me a friend request. I’ll just decline it anyway.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: mini self help eBook series here:

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