On Why Being An Inspiration is Such Bullshit

And why does my petunia smell like bug spray?

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Image by dgchpy0 from Pixabay

I hear this an awful lot: “Oh Iva, you are such an inspiration!”

Am I now?

I also hear this a lot: “Because of you I am going to start changing my life”

Are you now?

Wait! What about my petunia?

First of all, I ain’t talking about the flower here. Figure it out. We’ll get to my petunia a bit later and yes, it does tie in to the story, somehow.

I had a rough life

I really did. My childhood sucked, my teen years were even worse and then as I became an adult I made an awful lot of really bad fucking decisions, hence my adult life sucked too.

A lot.

I endured a shit ton of abuse, physically, emotionally, mentally and verbally. I’ll even admit, some I totally could have avoided but didn’t.

I was in and out of shitty relationships, in and out of college, and jobs and lived through not one, but two bankruptcies.

Yup, it’s suffice to say, my life was tough.

Look at me now!!

So after I hit rock bottom back in 2012 something had to give. I totally reinvented my life and me! I became a whole new person and apparently an inspirational one at that.

I gave up my shitty hairstyling job, became a freelance writer, started up a motivational website and away I went.

Then after I did all that, I packed up two suitcases, bought a one way ticket to Guatemala and gtfo of Canada (winter was coming).

To say my life is totally different now is an understatement. I’ve changed. A lot.

My mission

With all that, I write stories about trying to help people to get out of their shit life, make radical fucking changes and go live the life they deserve and want! I do my best to show them that if I can do it, so can they.

I do Lives on my Facebook page about embracing change and flicking fear. I write blogs about getting out of your comfort zone and “just fucking do it”.

You name it, I do it. Why?

Because I sincerely want people to be happy and live the life they deserve.

Because I’m tired of reading stories and comments about how unhappy people are.

Because you only have one life and you need to make the best of it.

Anyway…

Why aren’t you doing anything about it?

So I do all this work for you because honestly I truly do enjoy it. You send me emails and messages about how I’ve inspired you and helped you and all that stuff but then months later nothing’s changed.

You haven’t done a thing.

I write, you read, I do a Live, you watch, I pour my heart out to you…………and nothing.

It’s frustrating and sad. I want so bad for you to be happy. I want so bad for you to pull up your big girl/boy panties and kick some motherfucking ass in life.

I want so bad for the world to be a better place and for all of you to just be happy!!!

But I guess you need to want that too

I mean, not everyone has the same vision as me. We all have different values and struggles and ideas about how our life should look and what we are willing to do to change it.

I know that some of you really truly are changed and inspired by my work and I love you all for that.

But what about the rest of you who say “I’m such an inspiration”? I get it. You’re scared. I used to be too. I totally understand that making changes is hard af and scary!!

Can you just make one small change? Just one! And then after that they get easier and life becomes more beautiful!!

I’m off again on another adventure

So I just packed all my shit again and moved, this time to Mexico. As much as I love Guatemala it was just time for me to move on. It was time to explore the world more.

Once again I get a message saying, oh you know what it said…bla bla bla, inspiration, yadda yadda.

Stop telling me and start acting on it!

Oh right, my petunia

So moving to another country was scary. So many different things here. I have to make new friends, find my way around town and find new volunteer opportunities.

It’s all fun, overwhelming, sometimes frustrating and sad but for the most part it really is kinda cool.

Except for this one thing that drove me nuts for the first 3 days here.

I kept smelling bug spray and it was driving me nuts.

Ok, so maybe this has absolutely nothing to do with my story but I really need to share this with you.

I have bug spray but have not felt the need to use it yet. All my lotions and hair products smell nice. The cleaning products in my house smell nice too.

So. what. the. fuck.?

I sniffed and scoured the house looking for the culprit and I finally found it.

So down here in Mexico and Central America you can’t flush the toilet paper. When you wipe, the paper goes in the garbage. Because of this, many brands of toilet paper have scented paper.

and…

You guessed it, mine just so happens to smell like bug spray. Oy.

I’ll be off to the market to get unscented paper today.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

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