Next Time You Feel Like a Failure, Try Doing These Crazy Things!

I really despise that *F* word. Honest I do. I only use it here because for some ridiculous reason, people still use and, sadly enough, resonate with it.

Carrying on………..

So we failed at something and what’s the first thing we do? Bury our head in the sand. We stay away from people so we don’t have to answer the questions. The last thing we want to do is talk about it.

Why does everyone want to talk about it? Why can’t they just shut up about? People love to hear about tragic shit. Drama, devastation, tragedy. Yup! For some bizarre reason, they are drawn to negative stuff. And your recent failure is right up there on the list of ground-breaking news.

News flash for you guys! We don’t wanna talk about it right now so please piss off. Please. How about we talk about other stuff like oh, the weather, the latest UFC fight card, the newest skin care line that will take years off your face? Yes, let’s talk about mindless shit please, for the love of God.

I am no stranger to failure. I’ve had my fair share. It’s little wonder I am not a raging alcoholic or crack user as a result of all the crap I’ve been through (and no, I’m def not looking for any sympathy here). The first few times I failed at something it was devastating for me. Now? Meh. Not so much. I’ve learned to handle it in a much different way.

So how do I handle it now?

When shit goes wrong, I still have to bury my head in the sand and cry but that usually only lasts about an hour now (it used to last for weeks!!). Yup I still do this. Keep in mind that failure is a bit of a loss of something, right? A bad blow. A brick that hit hard. The immediate loss? Your pride. Other loss? Self-confidence. And what do we want to do when this happens? For most people, cry.

It’s important to take time to grieve any kind of loss. No matter how big or small, a loss is a loss.

Anyway, I figured it was time to learn new ways of handling this failure thing ‘cause crying was just leaving my eyes all puffy and I would eventually have to handle the crowd of finger pointers and whisperers. It was time to pull up my big girl panties and handle it like a pro. I mean, by now, I should be a pro at it, yes?

So here is my list of the crazy things I like to do the day after something goes terribly wrong. They don’t necessarily make me feel good days or weeks after the fact but they make me feel good that day and that’s all I need. That’s all that matters.


I love doing this and anyone who knows me knows that Despicable Me 2 is my favorite movie of all time. I’ll watch that movie all fucking day! Those minions make me so friggin happy it’s not even funny.

Junk food coma anyone?

I’ll eat chocolate, popcorn, chips, Fruit Loops for dinner (yes I have a box of Fruit Loops, and??), ju jubes, you name it, I’ll get it and eat it. The stove or microwave don’t get used. I cook nothing and will only eat anything that comes out of a box and can be eaten immediately.

Pj day! Yes!

My go to pj’s are my Tweety Bird ones (don’t judge). They are cozy and cute. I almost feel safe in them. Childlike if you will. When I slip into these all my cares and woes go right out the window.

Step away from the electronics please.

…and any other form of communication from the outside world. I know, crazy right??? Most of us can’t even do that for an hour. Try a day! Pretend you still live in the rotary phone era. Doing this will shield you from texts you don’t want to answer and also if you happen to be a FB newsfeed addict, it will also shield you from reading about how awesome Sarah’s life is right now, because let’s face it, fuck Sarah and everyone else who is happy right now.

Truth letter time!

Write one of these to someone who recently pissed you off and tell them how fan-friggin-tastic your life is now that they are not part of your life anymore and how successful and rich and awesome you are. I love doing this. My letter is rather colorful with lots of, um, descriptive words. I can get a lot of shit out in a short period of time writing this letter. It’s liberating and a whole lot of fun!

Oh, and no, don’t send it to them. Burn it, rip it up, do whatever but DO NOT MAIL IT!!

This is my list of crazy things I like to do that help me forget my troubles for the day. I understand, of course, that the next day, life resumes and you still have to deal with stuff (and maybe a sore belly too) but it is easier for me to get a grip on the situation at hand.

After I spend a day doing these things I have a new found determination to try something else. My mind is clear, (though you would think it would be in a junk food coma) and I can view things differently, in a more positive way.

Next time failure (I still shudder at this word) hits you, take a day for yourself, do ridiculous fun shit and then regroup the next day. You’re gonna be ok. ❤

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: mini self help eBook series here:

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