So good bye 2018. Good riddance. Don’t let the door hit your ass too hard on the way out. You fucking sucked monkey balls. I’m not sure what I did to you to deserve such horrible treatment. Whatever.
But I gotta say, you left behind some crazy life lessons. So I should thank you for that.
But seriously. Get lost. I’m so done with you.
Hellooooo 2019. You’re not even here yet and I already love you to the moon and back. ❤ Hello 2019 for giving me hope and strengthening my faith and trust (by the way, faith isn’t my eff word for the new year).
And before I get too far into this, it isn’t another one of those new year new me bullshit type articles. Well, not really. I’m not a person who makes new year’s resolutions. I quit doing that years ago. I was tired of setting myself up for failure (not the eff word for 2019 either) and then feeling like an ass because I didn’t follow through on anything!
What happened Iva?
Wanna know what happened in 2018? I slacked off and expected miracles to show up at my door even though I had no faith in them arriving. I didn’t put my heart and soul into my work. I chased money and boys. I thought of myself only and pretended I was someone else.
I hid behind fear (also not the eff word for 2019). I was a hypocrite most of the year, telling people to be brave and courageous and live the life they want and desire, all the while I was drowning myself in self doubt and tequila.
I relied on other people to help me financially (nope, that’s not the word either), not taking full responsibility for my life and my errors.
2018 I was a scared coward. Oh, I worked my ass off and thought I was doing my best. I wasn’t. I was drowning in a world of self doubt, limiting beliefs, fear and hopelessness.
Not a fun place to be. Amirite?
The eff word for 2019
This eff word is ingrained in my brain and I share it with you now because I want you too to plant it deep in your mind, your heart and your soul. I want you to write it out in big motherfucking black letters so you can see it every goddamn day.
I have a feeling, we all forget this one thing. We let it go. We buried it under the rug because we were scared. We followed what everyone else was doing. We listened to poor advice. We didn’t follow our hearts.
Stop doing that right now. All of that.
You know what our problem is? “No great wise one, tell me what my problem is”.
We’re afraid of success and the ultimate power we have inside. Our power scares us. We’ve been playing small for so long, we have no idea what it’s like to be larger than life. We have no idea what success tastes like because we’ve been avoiding it for so long.
You know, I have a dream of feeding hungry bellies around the world. I’ve been doing it for the last 3 years here in Guatemala but on a very small scale. Too small.
I’ve laughed and joked with my friends that I want to be a badass and ballsy version of Mother Teresa.
But I’m terrified of this. This is huge. This is powerful. I can’t do this. It’s too big for me. For goodness sake Iva who the heck do you think you are to live out a dream of such magnitude? You’re joking right?
You’re just a retired hairdresser from a small city in Northern Ontario Canada who writes inspirational stories. Who do you think you are?
The thought of my vision terrifies me. I want to open a shelter or community type centre to help the people here, somehow some way. I want a big yard for stray puppies and furry critters to come and play and be safe. I can see it all, but only through really thick fog (nope not that word either).
It’s there but it’s clouded in fear, and self doubt.
Oh right, the eff word for 2019
But first this….
- So how many of you got side tracked because shit just didn’t fucking work?
- How many of you took two steps back and stayed there?
- How many of you threw in the towel on something because it felt hopeless?
- How many of you wasted too much time complaining about shit that was going wrong?
- How many times did you find yourself in a heap on the floor sobbing uncontrollably because life was too hard?
Well guess what? You weren’t alone in all of that. Many of us did all that. Including me. But not this year. Not in 2019. Nope nope nope.
I’ve spent the last week of 2018 going over what went wrong and working on my own personal growth. Aren’t we all? I’ve been watching YouTube videos about motivation and eliminating limiting beliefs.
I’ve also been reading a lot. A lot of really good and motivational stories right here on Medium and this book. Think and Grow Rich. If you don’t have it, get it. It’s life changing.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in my own head and in my heart. I’ve prayed a lot more than I normally do. I’ve been strengthening my faith and my personal power. I’ve been bringing my vision to the forefront of my mind and really looking at it on a much deeper level.
This year it’s all about………..
Boom. There it is. This year we need to dig deep and remember our why. This year we need to dig deep and step into our true power!!!
This year we need to dig deep and realize that we can make a difference. Oh yes we can. Each and every single one of us has great magnificence in us.
Find it. Embrace it. Own it. Live it. Be it. Show it off to the world and inspire others to find theirs too!!!
You’re not small. You’re larger than life and so is your voice, your mission and your passion. Share it!
So good bye 2018. Thank you for the lessons and thank you for showing me that playing small is for mice. I’m no fucking mouse.
I’m a lion dammit and hear me roar!!!
I love you ❤
Peace and Love
xo iva xo
(this article does contain an affiliate link so if you purchase this book I make a teeny tiny commission)