My Future Scares the F**k Out of Me!

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Now if you know anything about me or follow any of my stories, you know that I love to face fear, I’m always up for a decent challenge and I love trying new things. You could say I’m a bit of an adventurist. Not a thrill seeker so to speak, I just like living life to the fullest and I think we all should be doing that.

I’ve come a long way in the last 4 years. Here’s a snapshot of what I’ve done so far and then I’ll tell you about what I want to happen in the next 2–4 years:

  • left an abusive relationship with not a penny to my name, nothing, zilch
  • traded in my 25+ yr hairstyling career to become a freelance writer
  • sold and donated 53 yrs of my life to become a hardcore minimalist
  • bought a one way ticket to Guatemala with two suitcases and a dream
  • left all my clients of February this year to become a solopreneur

So you see, I’m no stranger to big crazy fucking moves. I don’t know if you can say I live on the edge or just live with abandon. I don’t really know to be honest.

I think. I have a dream. I wonder if I can pull it off. I work away at it to see if it can become a reality and then when it does I have my *holy shit* moment.

It’s like I push myself past limits. But wait. Where did the limits come from anyway? Ah, right. The limits we place on ourselves.

Anyway, so 4 years ago when I had all those dreams from above, I was scared out of my fucking tree. But I pulled them off. I can look back now and think to myself “huh, ok that wasn’t so hard”. What’s your next trick Iva?

Well. My next few tricks are so much bigger than those. I mean sure, packing up and moving to a third world country that you know nothing about definitely is kinda scary but so many people do it anyway. It’s not that ballsy really. Crazy and adventurous, but not ballsy.

I have three really big, and I mean REALLY big dreams right now. These ones scare the shit out of me. Seriously.

“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough”

You know what scares me? That fucking quote 😝.

Big Dream #1- Be a keynote speaker alongside Tony Robbins or Dean Grasiozi or Brendon Burchard or maybe with Oprah Winfrey. May as well throw Oprah in the mix. I mean if you’re gonna dream big, go BIG!! I wanna be on stage with any of them, one day, with what I call a “Britney Spears mic”, empowering, motivating and inspiring audiences around the world.

Side note: her concert was off the charts amazing!

Big Dream #2-To have my own shelter in Guatemala (and maybe in other third world countries) to help feed the hungry, stop malnutrition and have room for puppies to play. I also want this to not have to be run solely on donations but on my own income. I don’t want to have to beg for donations to keep this shelter alive.

Big Dream #3- To have a “comfortable” monthly income coming in to support Dream #2 and be able to travel to other third world countries to help.

So those are my three big dreams right now and experience has shown me that each time Iva dreams big, they come true.

And I’m kinda scared of that.

I’m scared of what my future holds for me. I’m scared of success. Aren’t we all? We don’t know what success of that magnitude tastes like. We tell ourselves stories like “we can’t have that level of success”.

But we can. We sure as fuck can. I mean, if you want it that is. I want it. I want it with every ounce of the blood that runs through my veins! I’ve envisioned me on stage with my Britney mic, laughing, yelling and having a fantastic time. I’ve envisioned feeding hungry little bellies, playing with puppies and giving jobs to some locals.

I play these scenes out in my head all the time. But when I actually stop to think for just one second that they could, er I mean, will come to life, I get terrified.

Am I ready for that level of success? Am I ready to have these dreams come to life? I honestly don’t know. I do know I have to put in a lot of work (because that whole see it believe it have it shit doesn’t really work for everything) if I want to realize them. I ain’t afraid of hard work. Ever. You do what it takes!

What I am afraid of is these dreams coming to life. Because it’s going to be off the charts fucking huge. Mind blowing. My whole life and world will change.

But it already did once before. 4 years ago. When I hit rock bottom and turned shit around. I’m at a comfortable level of success (though I wish my bank balance would hurry and catch up) now.

It’s time to level up. And I’m scared out of my fucking mind.

So in 5 years, when I’ve realized those dreams, what will my next ones be? Will I look back every 4 or 5 years and say “well that wasn’t so hard, what’s next”?

I also feel a sense of urgency. I’m not getting any younger. I have to hurry. I’m already 55. How much time do I have left?? A little bit of anxiety and overwhelm is starting to kick in now.

These dreams I have are big and scary, but I’ve had big and scary dreams before and they all came true. What are your big and scary dreams? Do you still think you can’t have them? That you don’t deserve them or they are too hard or out of reach?

You can have them. They aren’t out of reach. You do deserve them. Chase them down and don’t stop til you got ’em by the balls. Promise me that!! ❤

Peace and Love

xo iva xo ❤

Self help Guru|Expat|Website: mini self help eBook series here:

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