The other day I was having Amaretto tea with my dear friend here in Panajachel. Honestly, if you’ve never tried this tea, go get some. Yum.
Anyway we were talking about life and work and all other random things. It was nice to sit with her and chat. I don’t do that often enough. Actually, there are a lot of things I don’t do enough.
I am plugged in almost 13 hours a day. It’s my life support. It’s my connection to the outside world. It’s my lifeline between me and other humans. Humans who get me, understand me, appreciate and support me. My online peeps.
But our conversation had me thinking. Good and hard. And it kinda scared me to be honest.
I have to say that my life since leaving Canada and moving to Guatemala has been a roller coaster of a ride. I’ve also in the last year become totally self employed meaning, no more social media clients. It was a scary ballsy move that had me scrambling in all of 2018 but it was something I felt needed to be done.
But because of this big bold move I’ve also been working 7 days a week, up to 13 hours a day some days. Oh sure, I take time for me here and there but not as much as I probably should.
I spend more time plugged in than actually living. Yes I do enjoy what I do. Writing, inspiring and motivating millions of people around the world. Yup, I love that.
But it gets exhausting and frustrating.
I burn out. I sometimes sit in front of the screen and just feel helpless and hopeless. “What do you have to do today iva, what do you want to write today iva, how come your Facebook page doesn’t have any new posts iva, how come you haven’t started writing your book yet iva, are you gonna podcast today iva?’
The problem is, I get tired and just burn out. I’m not taking enough time for myself to step away and take in other things, like life and all the beauty it has to offer me.
I’m not taking time to stop and smell roses and breathe and talk to real humans and go do fun things that take my mind off of work.
Because I feel guilty. Boom. There it is.
I feel guilty if I step away for even one hour. Bad iva. How do you propose you’re gonna pay your credit card off if you don’t work today bitch? What’s your plan for that?
I feel guilty because my son has been helping me financially for over a year and if I take time off, while he’s back in Canada working his ass off to support himself and his mother, then I don’t make money and the onus is on him.
I feel guilty because there are hungry bellies to feed and if I don’t work, and decide to take time off, who’s gonna feed them?
I feel guilty because I should be ‘busy’, no?
No I shouldn’t be busy. I mean yes, I should be working but not like a robot. I should also be living and enjoying what life has to offer.
I shouldn’t just be busy either, I should be productive. Am I seriously being productive 13 hours a day or just busy? I need to reevaluate my time. I need to have a hard look at what I’m doing, what the time vampires truly are and also how I can fit more ‘me time’ into the equation because…
I need to enjoy life more. I need to take an ‘iva day’. So I plan on doing just that. With no guilt. I deserve it. I need to take a break from my monitor and keyboard and live life. Get outside more. Read more fun books, watch more Vikings.
I need to stop chasing the almighty dollar and stop being ‘busy’ and learn to just ‘be’.
So I’m taking a day off a week now. I will completely unplug. No computer. No work. I’m taking a day off a week to honour and nurture me. Because I’m the most important thing in the world. My sanity and my health. If I don’t have at least those two things, I have nothing and I’m good to no one.
So I’ve declared Saturday my fun day. I’ll jump on a chicken bus and head to the market in the next town or I’ll go visit more friends. Maybe I’ll have a picnic down at the lake and sit and chill the fuck out.
Whatever I decide to do, it will be for me because I’m done being ‘busy’ 7 days a week, 13 hours a day. I’m just so done.
This past weekend I shut the computer off on Saturday night right after dinner. Something I’ve never done before (unless I’m going out with friends which is also rare these days). I turned on the TV (another rare thing for iva) and started binge watching Vikings.
Then I did that on Sunday night too! Computer off, TV on, Vikings Season 2 (yes I’m watching the whole fucking series again because you just can’t get enough of Ragnar).
And it felt good.
Monday morning came around and I was refreshed and recharged, ready to take on the day, and what a day it was!! I sent out a call for more writers and more submissions to my publication Hopes and Dreams For Our Future and within two hours, had added almost 30 new writers! Yay!
It was a good day!
Now I sort of already knew this was gonna be good for me. How good, I had no idea. Apparently, it was really fucking good. I’m now looking forward to my ‘weekend’ and to my day off.
Your turn! Are you already doing this? If so, kudos to you!! If not. Time to start. Start taking a whole day off, just for you. Do the things that make your heart sing.
Do the things that make you love life and love being alive. Do the things you forget to do because you’re always ‘too busy’.
Because life is too fucking short.
I love you ❤
Peace and Love
xo iva xo