Death, Family

I’m Not Sure When My Parents Died

Does that make me a bad daughter?

Iva Ursano
4 min readMay 25, 2024

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Image purchased from Shutterstock

I noticed recently while mindlessly scrolling through Facebook that some of my friends post updates like “Mom, you left us xx years ago today. I miss you every day…” and it got me thinking.

I have no idea what day my mom died, or my dad. No clue.

I also have very mixed feelings about all these sappy posts. Sorry, not sorry. I have extremely different views on death. I’ll save that for another time.

But these posts got me thinking…

Am I supposed to know and remember the exact day and time my parents died? Does it make me a bad daughter that I have no fucking clue. I can’t even tell you the year.

Wait, I think mom died in 2019 and dad died before her? Colour me clueless on this.

The grieving journey for mom

I don’t even know if I can call it grieving or a journey. It’s weird. That much I know.

We’ll start with my mom.

I didn’t really start ‘loving’ my mom until the physical and emotional abuse stopped, I became a grown woman and had a kid. Suddenly she became Mary Poppins.

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