It won’t be a secret for long. I’ll divulge their name shortly but first, this…
I didn’t know what to expect when I joined Medium a few months back. I was leery and to be perfectly honest, for the first couple of months I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was doing. I wrote and hit publish. I followed some peeps, read some stories and worked on making myself comfortable here.
Though I’m still not entirely sure I’m very comfortable, I think I’m settling in quite nicely. I’ve made some lovely Medium bonds with other members whose work I admire and enjoy.
I’ve also rediscovered my love for reading which I lost years ago for several reasons. Some of my favourite writers now include Gustavo Razzetti, Tim Rettig Jessica Wildfire, Kris Gage, Brian Brewington, Darius Foroux, John Gorman and Jonathan Greene just to name a few.
But I’ve come across one writer that I am secretly jealous of, inspired by and have a professional crush on (do other people still have those I wonder?)I caught a glimpse of her a month or so ago and sorta kept my eye on her. I like the way she writes. I can easily relate to most of what she says.
I’ve also watched her grow and grow and grow and I was like “hey wait a minute, how are you doing that?” A part of me almost became competitive and I truly fucking hate that side of me. Iva grow up. You’re not in high school anymore.
You know I ain’t gonna lie, I’m working on multiple income streams here and have chosen Medium as one of them. I get that I’m not gonna become a 6 figure writer in here but even a little helps.
So last week this writer posted about how much money she made and why she is here and told her story and I was freaking out. How does she make that much? Damn her!
Anyway, once my ugly green monster settled down a wee bit, I reread her post about her earnings and really read her story. I felt her story. I totally understood it and could relate to it (minus the having a child to support bit).
She’s doing her best to provide for her little family. Exactly what I did when I was her age. I often worked 3 jobs to support me and my son. I did whatever the fuck I had to do to make sure he had a good life.
Her story gave me a whole new respect and admiration for her and also gave me more determination to be better at what I do, but more importantly, be consistent in my work.
I’ve been lacking consistency and not focusing on the big picture here. The big picture for me is the reason why I am in Guatemala in the first place, help stop poverty and hunger. I can’t do that on the measly income I have coming in now.
It’s time to up my game.
It’s time to stop comparing myself to others and to start appreciating who I am, what I’m here for and be confident in the skills I have.
So Shannon Ashley, you’re a fucking star in my book. Thank you for your passion, your vulnerability and the fire you put up my ass. Thank you for reminding me this isn’t a competition. We are all here for different reasons, with different passions but we all have one thing in common.
We are writers.
Some of us are educators or world changers or motivators or just simply entertainers. It doesn’t matter what we’re here for. We write. That’s what we do. And we all do it well.
We grow from each other, we learn, we inspire and yes, we even bond. I got a hard fast life lesson in personal growth, self improvement and self doubt. Thank you for helping me refocus.
But I think the bigger message here is the feeling of and the meaning of jealousy.
- feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.
Shouldn’t we be proud of people and their accomplishments? Shouldn’t we be doing virtual high 5’s around the world as we watch people grow, learn, expand and succeed?
If we’re not doing that, and we’re jealous, there’s a bigger deeper issue and it comes from within ourselves. What part of us have we not healed yet from our past that makes us think people are better than us?
What part of us do we need to look further into to realize that we are great and worthy but not only that, we are all equals and we all have our own skills and talents and gifts AND we can learn from each other and grow?
When will we get that?
Life isn’t a competition. We’re all doing the best we can and when we slip and fall, there are others who help us get back up on our feet. Kudos to you Shannon. You are an inspiration! Own that shit! 😜
Peace and Love
xo iva xo