Member-only story
If I’m Not Depressed, Does My Pain Still Count?
Or is it just a sad? Does it matter?
This past week has been a shitshow. It’s Thursday today and I’m slowly starting to feel like myself. Slowly. Finally.
It was one thing after another for me. The chaos just didn’t stop. I had nothing to smile or laugh about at all. I cried a lot. I tried to reach out to a couple of people to talk but that didn’t go so well.
People are busy. Right.? And besides, I really hate talking to people about my problems. The only person I can ever talk to is my son. And he was boarding a flight to Bangkok so…I was on my own.
My emotions were brutal. I woke up crying on Wednesday.
At one point I even started entertaining “those” thoughts. You know the ones I’m talking about. Anyone who has been depressed or really really sad knows which thoughts I mean.
Ya. Those ones. It’s not a pretty place to be. I needed someone to talk me off the ledge. But I didn’t want anyone to blow sunshine up my ass.
I wasn’t in the mood for that. Don’t tell me tomorrow is gonna be a better day. Maybe it will be, maybe it won’t. You don’t know that. I thought that Monday. “Tuesday is gonna be better iva”.
