I Think I Have Road Rage and It’s Not Pretty

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I can remember being back in Canada, my last few years there, driving my SUV and every now and then I’d gently “yell” at someone to “Please learn how to drive” or “oh for fuck sake, get off the road”. But it’s not like I would roll down my window and holler these out so the dude could hear me.

No no nothing like. It would come out almost like a sigh. A whisper if you will. Mind you it was much worse about 15 or 20 years ago, it was ugly. I’d roll down that window, lay on the horn and shout like a crazy lady. “What are you, fucking stupid?? Learn how to drive or take the fucking bus!!”. Oh ya, it was bad.

But then, this was when I was an angry, broken and hurt person so lots of ugly things came out of my mouth back then.


So it’s been a few years since I’ve driven. I moved to Guatemala back in October 2015 and really just haven’t needed a vehicle or anything. You can walk everywhere mostly.

And driving here, well… they should offer a course on driving in Guatemala. Picture a manic video game, the players are all on acid, the obstacles include dogs, chicken carts, men pushing wheelbarrows, kids on their bikes in the middle of the road, chicken buses (picture a big old school bus all decked out with an erratic driver), tuk tuks, and hundreds of scooters and motorcycles with no direction, horns blaring, all racing around. Fast, carelessly and clueless. It’s a nightmare honestly.

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Lined up chicken buses.

The roads are bad. Really bad. And small and tight. It’s chaos. all. the.fucking.time. But I love it. Honest I do. The chaos is hilarious on most days.

So I moved a little further out of town a few months ago and though I can still walk into town it’s a bit of a hike, especially if you have groceries. A few months ago, thanx to my dear friend Dave, I got a scooter. It took me awhile to figure out how to ride it but I got it now.

And suddenly, road rage has returned. And it’s not pretty.

Today it hit me hard. Some guy, in a car, coulda been a tourist, or just simply lost, driving like, you know, an asshole (gasp! as if I just said that!) was totally getting on my fucking nerves. Aaaaaaaaaaaand I lost it.

“Drive it or get off the fucking road!!” and I yelled this time.

Iva!!!!! Omg!!! Once I calmed down I shook my head at myself. Girl!! Get a hold of yourself!! You gonna start that again?

But you gotta know one thing. Most of the people here don’t understand English. Ha!! Most. I could shout all kinds of ridiculous things (though I think they all know ‘fuck’) and they would have no clue what I’m saying.

However, that doesn’t make it right or acceptable. Road rage is not acceptable. It causes accidents and kills people.

You know, for the most part, I’m a pretty patient person. It takes a lot, an awful lot, to ruffle my feathers. It’s just been so long since I last drove, my sudden road rage outburst actually surprised and shocked me. It also disappointed me.

Iva, girl, calm the fuck down. Breathe in, breathe out….ohmmmmmm.

I’ll have to keep my first world road rage in check. There’s really no place for it here. Despite the chaotic and erratic driving behaviours, this town really is a peaceful and loving place.

There is no violence, no yelling, no fighting ( I mean other than drunken bar brawls and moms yelling at their kids), people just go about their business calmly and happily. I have much to learn from them ❤

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

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Self help Guru|Expat|Website: https://amazingmemovement.com/ mini self help eBook series here: https://books.amazingmemovement.com/

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