Now, I’m a pretty caring person. Really I am. I truly hope everyone is happy or at the very least, on their path to happiness. I want people to be happy. I do.
When I see friends and acquaintances on the street or in the grocery store I like to stop and talk. First question always is:
“Hey how you doing?”
I’m not asking that anymore. You fuckers are sucking the life out of me.
Ok so maybe that sounds a little harsh. Hear me out will ya?
Oh look it’s the self help guru!!
Most of my friends down here know I’m a pretty happy and bubbly person. They also know I am in the personal development field. My job and goal is to make people feel better. Help them to see the brighter side of things and if they can’t, at least try to find some inner peace and start healing with some forgiveness.
Or some shit like that.
So because of this, when I see someone and ask ‘how are you’ they are more than happy to tell me exactly how they are. 🤦♀️ Oy.
I’m not exactly sure what it is about me or my energy or whatever, but when the “this is how I really am” spiel gets going, 9 times out of 10 the person is in tears.
Do I make them cry? Or maybe they just feel comfortable enough with me that it makes them cry? I dunno.
What I do know is that it’s starting to suck the life out of me.
The last encounter that prompted this article
I hadn’t seen her in awhile. A few months. I know she has some issues though I’m not entirely sure what they are ( I was soon to learn what all of them were). We meet up in the grocery store.
“Hi Felicia how are you, long time no see”.
For almost half an hour Felicia poured out exactly how she is and why she is and omg…please.make.it.stop.
All I could do was nod and say “oh I see”. There was no room for interrupting anyway and to be honest, I’m sure no matter what I would have said, it would have fallen on deaf ears anyway.
For half an hour Felicia sucked the life out of me pouring out all her problems.
Shoot me now.
I totally get it and I promise I’m not a heartless bitch
We ask ‘how are you’ and in general, people will say ‘fine’ or ‘good’. There is the random select few that will spew negativity all over you. I mean, I asked, right?
If I don’t want to know how you are I should not have asked, correct?
But it’s like a double edged sword. Like, you want to be polite and friendly by asking the million dollar question and then you hope it goes smoothly. It usually does. Sometimes it doesn’t.
And when it doesn’t go smoothly, you bide your time until Felicia is done venting and then you say ‘ok nice seeing you gotta run’ really fast before she goes off on another tangent.
But did you also ever notice it’s the same person who does this all the time? Like, their life is always shit and something is always wrong or bad or tragic.
To be honest, I used to be one of those people. I apologize now to everyone who had to listen to me whine endlessly about my shit life.
I promise to never do that again.
I started changing things in my life and started singing a different ‘how are you’ song. I got tired of listening to my sick whiny voice. I’m sure you did too.
Not everyone wants to hear your problems. Some of you dump them out without us even asking ‘the question’.
Felicia, I really do care about you, honest I do, and I know what it’s like to want to vent and pour your problems out to the first person you see (who happens to be yours truly) but you can’t keep doing this to me. You can’t keep doing this to everyone.
We are all made up of energy. It is very easy for me, as an empath, to absorb your energy. As a matter of fact, it’s easy for anyone to absorb such toxic energy.
I had to smudge myself when I got home (if you know, you know).
Try to remember that when you go out into the world and talk to people, you either give off good energy or negative energy. You are either a time vampire or a gentle soul (for lack of better words).
If things in your life are shit, start fixing them. Start trying to find the blessing in them. Start doing something other than bitch about your life all the time, for the love of God and everything holy.
So many of us ( remember, I used to be one of ‘them’) are quick to want to share all the horrible stuff in our lives. Your thoughts and words create your life. Did you know that? It actually took me awhile to figure this out.
When I finally got it, I fucking got it.
I really do care about you and I get that sometimes we need an ear. A caring person to hear our tales of woe. But when are you going to turn your tales around into something happier?
It’s up to you to do that. Until you change your mindset, you will continue to have a shit life and because of that, you will continue to be a time vampire and trust me on this one, no one wants to be friends with time vampires.
I know this all too well.
I really do care about you but I’m so not asking how you are anymore. It’s exhausting.
I love you ❤
Peace and Love
xo iva xo