How to Start Over at 50

With no pot to piss in

Iva Ursano

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Is it hard to start over at 50? Is it terrifying to start over at 50? Is it frustrating af to start over at 50?

Yup yup yup.

It’s all of those things and then some. And I know. I had to do that at 52 years old without a penny to my name. I had zippo, zilch, nudda. Except for hope. I had a small shred of hope that I clung on to for dear life.

I had to hang on to that because I had nothing else. Nothing. I had to figure out what the fuck I was going to do with my life and figure out how to do that, whatever that was.

How can this be happening to me?

I never once thought in a million years that I’d be starting over again. I mean, when I threw my husband out 31 odd years ago I kinda had to start over but it was a lot easier then.

Or so it seemed anyway.

And then when I left my abusive partner in 2013 after just closing up my salon and declaring bankruptcy I had to start over again but this time it was hard.

And terrifying as fuck.

To be honest, I have never felt so alone in my entire life as I did then.

I had to scramble to find an apartment, find things to put in my apartment, hopefully for free because I couldn’t afford shit. I had to find someone to help me move what little belongings I did have remaining at the old house with my ex.

And I had to find a job. I needed money. I needed a lot of things. I was starting over entirely.

I was fortunate enough to have a former boss who really liked me and was happy to have me return to her salon. Tail between my legs, off I went.

I was starting at 0. And to say I was freaking out a little is an understatement. Trying to figure out how to start over when you have a small child is one thing and that in itself is exhausting and hard. But when you’re over 50 and you feel like most of your life is over and then you gotta figure out how to start over, again?

Ya. That’s terrifying and exhausting too but in a different way.

Starting over at 50 with nothing is soul crushing

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