Hello, My Name is Iva and I’m An Addict

Iva Ursano
5 min readJul 23, 2018

Just writing out that title almost embarrasses me. The girl who is all about spreading sunshine and love and hope and peace and bla bla bla….yup, she’s an addict.

The girl who wants to save the world and wants everyone to be happy and full of love and inner peace is an addict.

It’s disgusting to be honest. I do my best to be healthy emotionally, spiritually and physically yet I suffer with an addiction. And lemme tell ya, being an addict fucking sucks hard monkey balls. I hate it with every ounce of me.

Being an addict is no joke. No matter what your addiction is. The ironic part of this is that I don’t really have an addictive personality. Or do I?

There was a time when I was in my late teen years I was addicted to prescription pain pills, but then I grew out of that right quick.

Then in my early 30’s I was smoking more weed than I probably should have been, daily, but then I grew out of that right quick too.

Can’t say I ever drank to the point I risked becoming an alcoholic. I mean I drank a fuck of a lot when I worked in bars in my earlier days but that’s just what you did then. I grew out of that too.

Then there was the time, not so long ago, my stress, and life, was spiraling out of control and I was strung out on cocaine almost every weekend. Oddly enough, I grew out of that one too!!

I definitely had a sugar addiction but since I revamped my diet a month ago and sugar is no longer served at this house (though to be honest, I’d cut off my left arm for a chocolate glazed donut). This one is a bit of a toughie for me but I’m doing it!

See? I don’t really have an addictive personality because I can just stop things without batting an eyelash and never look back. How bizarre.

But then there’s this one disgusting fucking addiction I have that I swear to God will NOT be the death of me (or maybe it will, who knows).

I’m a smoker.

Not a chain smoker, but I smoke. I’ve battled this addiction for over 40 years now. Quit for two years, start again, quit for 3 years, start again, quit for 1 year, ya you get the idea. It’s a vicious cycle. It’s brutal. And it isn’t anything I wish on…

Iva Ursano