You know the love I’m talking about. The “fairy tale” kinda love. He adores and worships the ground you walk on. You adore him the same. He goes above and beyond to show you just how fucking amazing you are. Your heart skips a beat every time you see him.
There is a beautiful soul connection that would give anyone looking in butterflies in their tummy. The magnetism between you two is undeniable and amazing.
True soulful passionate love.
Did I miss my chance? Is my number up? Did I kiss too many frogs and waste too much time with douchebags while waiting around for Mr. Perfect For Me?
You should know, I’m no spring chicken. I mean, I’m not prehistoric material yet either but at 55 yrs old, I often wonder, is there still a chance for me to have that true soulful love I crave?
I had a love pretty close to that once. With a woman. We were together for 8 years (you can pick your jaw up off the floor now). The bond and chemistry we had was undeniable. She was blonde and beautiful with a charismatic personality. We had a beautiful relationship. Until she met a man at work and dumped me, quite suddenly, for him. Guess we weren’t that tight after all 😝
Oh well. Moving on…..a few more shitty lesbian relationships and then one day I fell in love with a married man (don’t judge). That ended after almost a year.
Looks like I’m not really into girls that much after all.
So now here I am, after a lifetime of good and bad relationships wondering, is it too late for me? Am I all washed up now? Did I miss my chance when I was fresh and young?
But I also wonder, does that love, can that love even be a thing? Does it even exist? Does anyone have it? At this age, I wonder if we are so tightly wound up with emotional baggage from the past that we have locked up our hearts so carefully not to let anyone in too deep anymore.
Could that be the case? No one is willing to offer up their full heart anymore because getting shit on is a thing, a real thing, and no one wants to feel that thing anymore. So we just keep our hearts fully guarded. Never to let anyone in, ever again.
All these questions and more go on in my head. But I’m a quintessential optimist. I like to believe that somewhere out there, there is a man who believes in the love that I seek and crave. I believe there is a man who is “perfect for me”.
I would love to be married again. People cringe when I say that. “Why the fuck would you want that??” Simply because my first and only marriage was a disaster and I have longed to be “Mrs. so and so” and actually be proud and happy about it. That shit means a lot to me. I want to say “this is my husband”. I know, labels. Ick for some people. Not to me. I can’t explain it, honestly, it’s just something I hold in high regard.
Anyway, I’m not throwing in the towel just yet. I hold on to the hope that before I leave this earth, I will experience that true soulful passionate love I so deeply desire. Until then, I’ll keep kissing frogs because, goddamn, frogs are a lot of fun too!! 😜
Peace and Love
xo iva xo