Is it hard to start over at 50? Is it terrifying to start over at 50? Is it frustrating af to start over at 50?
Yup yup yup.
It’s all of those things and then some. And I know. I had to do that at 52 years old without a penny to my name. I had zippo, zilch, nudda. Except for hope. I had a small shred of hope that I clung on to for dear life.
I had to hang on to that because I had nothing else. Nothing. I had to figure out what the fuck I was…
I thought long and hard about writing this. What will people think of me? Will my family be disgusted by my actions and hurt that I did something so reckless and stupid?
I decided to share it in the hopes that it actually might save someone’s life. In the hopes that the people who need to see this article, see it, read it, get it ( I mean REALLY get it ) and back away from this killer drug.
Yes I said it. It’s a killer drug.
But before I go on, I’m sure many will read this and accuse…
Wouldn’t it be nice if life was just smooth sailing all the time? No cares, no struggles, no trauma, no stress. A dream life, yes? Unfortunately, it doesn’t really go down like that. Getting through hard times can often be a challenge and exhausting for so many of us.
Really crappy things happen that send us flying backwards. Most of the time, things happen we simply don’t know how to handle or deal with. And we break. Hard.
We all deal with situations differently. Some let certain things just roll off their back while those same certain things could be…
I hit a low point recently and felt like I was being swallowed up by defeat, shame, and worthlessness. I’ve been here before and it’s not pretty. My business crash in October 2020 had me curled up in a ball wishing the earth would stop revolving and please let me off.
I’m so tired. And I’m not getting any younger. I was starting to feel completely hopeless and done. So done. With everything. I wondered how much more I could take and how much more I would have to put up with in this thing called life.
Life is exhausting.
People these days seem to be forgetting something that’s so crucial to the future of the world and it boggles my mind. But not just any ‘people’. Adults! Parents. Teachers. Mentors. Role Models. Rock stars. Actors. Athletes. Politicians. All adults on the planet!
We lead by example.
There’s a popular old saying that goes something like this:
Monkey see monkey do
Remember that one when you were growing up?
You’d be outside playing with your friends and then that one ‘kid’ would come around. The one who no one liked and he would imitate what you were doing because all…
Just for today…
Can you be kind to a stranger? A homeless person? A person who looks sad and lonely? Can you offer them company or kindness? Can you somehow cheer them up, give them hope, and restore their faith in humanity?
Just for today…
Can you not judge someone by their appearance? Can you not point fingers and whisper things to your friend about “that” person? Can you simply look at a person and accept them for exactly who they are?
Just for today…
Can you speak only positive words? No complaining, no whining, no bitching, no words of…
How many of you started out 2020 with those exact words? “This is gonna be my year” and then it all went to hell. For everyone. Myself included. But I have to be honest about something. 2020 actually WAS my year until my business collapsed in October.
Ironically enough, Covid had nothing to do with it.
My year started out with great enthusiasm, lofty goals and visions of ending 2020 successfully reaching 6 figures. I worked my ass off. I purchased SEO courses and eBooks. I was going to make it happen, come Hell or high water.
By the time…
Before I begin I gotta tell you, I’m not a huge fan of having a million plugins or ‘things’ on my site that will take away from the quality and the content. Yes I have ads but those pretty much support the site and help me pay my rent and bills. And buy food.
You know, the necessities of life.
One day while I was reading posts in a blogging group I belong to, someone was talking about this neat little button that brings them in some fun extra money.
Wait. I want fun extra money too please!!
So on December 25th I did the impossible, again. I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve done this. I truly just hope it’ll be my last. I gave myself the gift of life and quit smoking.
So why do I say ‘the impossible’? If you’ve ever been a smoker and quit, you’ll understand that statement. It always seems possible until we try to do it, don’t succeed and then cry to ourselves “this is impossible”.
Well, yes of course I can do this alone. Like no one can help me. But I can’t do it cold turkey. Nope…
Here we go. New Year New Me crap has officially arrived. Joy oh bliss. The proverbial *New Year’s Resolutions* have been made and set, in stone, er I mean sand.
How did your resolutions turn out for you in 2020? Haha! Ya, that’s just me being a total bitch. I have my moments. If you’re wondering how mine went, they didn’t. I don’t make ’em anymore.
Forgive me for sounding so, oh what’s the word, negative? Sarcastic perhaps? We’ll go with the latter as I try to stay away from negative stuff of all kinds, especially my blog posts.