Does this sound like you? One minute life seems ok and all is going well and the next thing you know you’re frozen, you feel hopeless and not sure what the hell just happened?
You have no clear focus, no clarity, no solutions, and no ambition.
You got the deer in headlights look going on and suddenly you’re clueless. I totally get that.
I used to get like this a lot. All the time as a matter of a fact. I was stuck (and I truly hate to use that word) in a crappy relationship and I hated my life but I also felt numb. I was almost frozen in my space because I had no visions.
Nothing mattered and I didn’t want to do anything. I was comfortably numb.
Feeling stuck in life is frustrating af, amirite?
I can remember just after I left my last abusive relationship that I realized something in my life had to change. I was miserable, empty, and going nowhere fast. I was completely stuck in life. I knew I had to make some serious changes. I hated my entire existence.
But change is scary.
So many of us stay feeling stuck in life because the remedy is to change something and we don’t want to. The unknown scares us. So we just stay where we are and hope things will get better or worse yet, we adapt to the miserable existence we call life and carry on our not so merry way.
Shitty way to live, no?
Like, we know something has to change. We hate feeling like this and it’s especially frustrating when you see all your friends and family so happy and moving on with life and we’re over here like, wtf?
Once I made the decision to totally reinvent my life and make things better the whole world opened up for me. Amazing things happened in my life that I only once ever dreamed of.
How do you get out of being stuck?
Well, glad you asked. And I’m pretty confident the reason you are here reading this right now is that you are stuck, you hate it and you want to make this feeling go away.
You have to recognize where you are now and dig deep into finding out why exactly you are feeling stuck in life. Is it your relationship that’s making you feel like that? Your job? The town you live in?
Or maybe it’s a combination of all of that and then some.
So first you have to try to narrow down where and why you feel stuck. It’s quite simple to do this. Here’s the technique I used to help me get some clarity in life.
- set aside an hour or two to be alone in a quiet space
- get out a notebook and a pen
- write out all the things in your life that are no longer bringing you joy or are making you feel unhappy, frustrated and miserable
- really be honest with yourself here!
Once you have written out your list of things that are sucking the life out of you it’s time to make an action plan if you will. But a soft one.
Take each thing and write them on a separate piece of paper in your journal.
I want you then to write out all the things, like the first things that come to mind, about how you can change this situation so that it no longer makes you miserable. Remember, it’s up to you to change your life. No one can do that for you.
Now let’s take this a step further and let me share with you 9 things to keep in mind when you are feeling stuck and 9 things you can do to change that.
9 Things to Remember When You Are Feeling Stuck in Life
(and what to do about it)
1 Nothing changes if nothing changes
Capiche? I get that your feeling lost and helpless but you can’t stay there forever. You eventually have to snap out of it and make a move. Any move.
Just do something that is different from what you’ve been doing for the last 1, 2, or 10 years. You have got to take at least one tiny little step towards something, anything.
Change something soon or you will stay stuck there in your misery for longer than you need to or should. Change is up to you. Don’t wait for someone else to make your life changes for you.
2 What drives you?
Think about something or a few things that light a fire under your butt. What makes you sing and do happy dances.
There’s got to be one or two things that whenever you do them or think about them, a little spark flickers in your belly and you get all warm and fuzzy. Go chase that!!! This is where your purpose and passion lies.
Maybe you like writing or painting or swimming. Maybe you’re a pet lover or you love seniors. Go spend more time doing the things you love to do. Too often we forget all the things that bring us joy.
3 Your emotional and mental health is at stake
Did you know that?
The longer you stay in this mode, the more your emotional health will suffer and when that goes, well your physical health will start to follow shortly thereafter. Don’t do that to yourself.
You are here to live a life of crazy fucking ridiculous joy. Not to be a physical and emotional wreck.
It’s up to you to keep that from happening. Don’t you want to be happy and healthy and full of life and all that good stuff? Of course, you do! Pick yourself up now and start doing something to get you out of that rut.
Even a simple walk to the park is better than nothing. Grab your phone, earbuds and turn on some awesome uplifting music or a good audible book and get some fresh air!!
4 Don’t worry about what others are doing
Meaning, don’t compare your life to someone else’s life. It’s pointless to do that. Who cares if Sally has all her ducks in a row and all your ducks are at a rave on acid? It doesn’t matter.
Too many of us waste our time comparing our lives with our co-workers or neighbours and wonder why their life is so good and ours isn’t. Who gives a shit?
And wait a sec, how do you know their life is so put together and amazing? Chances are it’s probably not and it’s just a show.
People do pretend you know.
The only thing that will happen when you do this is that you will get even more depressed and frustrated and then you’ll start to feel like a loser. Don’t do that. Worry about your own life and forget about what other people are doing.
5 Remind your inner child you are the adult here
So that inner child can be kinda rebellious at times, right? It will try to control your life and make sure you don’t step out of line. But wait.
Who’s the adult here?
Don’t give in to that little voice that is protecting you from the unknown. Tell that inner child you are the adult and it’s time to make some radical changes in your life so you can be happy.
Our inner child reminds us of stories from our past. But we don’t live there anymore and we’re are not that same person. Throw her some crayons and a colouring book and take back control of your life.
6 Be honest with yourself
I mean, really honest. When was the last time you did that?
You probably already know some things like a) you should leave your shitty unhealthy relationship, b) you should change jobs, c) you should change your diet, d) you should change your circle of friends or whatever.
You already know these toxic things are keeping you stuck in life and you won’t grow, expand, evolve until you do something about them.
So, please. Do yourself and your heart a favour and be honest with yourself. What needs to go?? Only you know that. And only you can do something about that.
7 Face your fears
You can do it. I know it’s terrifying to have to make changes in your life but go back and read number 1. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You have got to face your fears eventually, especially the fear of change and getting out of your comfort zone!!
I want you to remember something important. Someone somewhere has already done the ‘thing’ that you want to do and is ridiculously happy. Keep that in mind.
And fear of failure keeps us stuck too. We don’t know what will happen if we change something. Will it work? Will it crash and burn? Will I die?
Who knows? Can you just at least try, anyway??
8 Make a commitment to yourself
You’ve already recognized that things have to change. You know that feeling stuck is sucking the life out of you and you can’t live like that anymore, nor do you want to.
Make a commitment to yourself to at least start taking action to change your life. It doesn’t have to be giant steps either. You can take little steps daily. Every step is a step in the right direction!
You might like my 21 Day Challenge Workbook where I encourage you daily to do things out of your comfort zone so you can live the life you deserve and finally be happy!
9 Make a decision and make a date
It’s up to you to decide that the life you are living now no longer serves you and you are ready to do something about it.
Whether you start today or next week, pick a date, mark it on a calendar and write out your first action step. Plan it out on a calendar like you would a doctor’s appointment.
You wouldn’t miss a doctor’s appointment, would you? (I hope you said no) Your mental and emotional health are just as, if not more, important as your physical health.
I like to write things out on a whiteboard (mindmap). This way I can see it daily and know what my goal is and what I have to do to achieve it.
It’s up to you to take care of it.
Don’t let this feeling become a life sentence
Don’t make it one.
You’ve recognized you aren’t happy. Do something about it. You know you are feeling stuck, helpless and hopeless. Do something about it.
Life is waiting for you. People and places and things are waiting for you.
Could it be that you have a special gift or talent that someone needs? Or maybe it’s just time for you to grow and you’re afraid. Many times we are feeling stuck or lost simply because we’re afraid of what lies ahead. But you’re missing out if you stay in stuck mode.
Face your fears and kick those fuckers to the curb.
Your life is on the other side of fear. Go get it.
Peace and Love