I don’t often write about parenting. It’s not really my thing. I didn’t win any Mother of the Year Awards though I think I did a pretty good fucking job considering I had no experience and no one taught me how to parent. I sure as heck didn’t learn anything good about parenting from my own parents.
Nope. I was a self taught parent and a single one to boot. That’s a super hard job that doesn’t come with a training manual or an ecourse (though I’m sure there are plenty of blogs you can read now about how to parent properly, like this one).
Now don’t ask me why I chose the age of 13. I figure by that age, they are smart enough to retain information, they haven’t quite started being little teenage assholes yet and they still kinda like and respect you. Also at this age, they can be slightly independent and have formed a mind of their own.
If you’re lucky and you have good kids, you might even be able to trust them alone in the house. My parents weren’t so lucky there.
Anyway, being a single mom who sometimes worked 3 jobs to support my son and I, he had to learn to do an awful lot of fucking shit and he also learned some pretty valuable life lessons.
In no particular order, here we go…
- Teach them how to use the washer and dryer, the stove, the dishwasher, the vacuum cleaner, a broom and dustpan, toilet bowl cleaner and rags and any other household appliance, gadget and gizmo that cleans and or cooks things. They weren’t born with pianos tied to their asses. Give them jobs and teach them responsibility.
- Teach them how to stand up for themselves but not in an asshole way. An eye for an eye is bullshit. Teach them how to walk away and always take the high road. Teach them that arguing with a fool only proves that there are 2. But also teach them to stand up for what they believe in. That it’s ok for their voice to be heard if something is morally wrong. Speak out bravely!
- Teach them to be kind to every living thing on the planet. Humans (especially the homeless as they need kindness the most), animals, critters. Everything. They need to learn that if they expect to be treated with kindness and respect, they too must treat others in such a way. Teach them to not be judgmental assholes.
- Teach them how to face fears and be brave. Show them that no matter how big and scary something is, you can still face it and overcome it. Teach them not to let fear stand in the way of their dreams. Teach them courage and bravery. Let them know that life is to be lived and comfort zones are bullshit.
- Teach them how to handle shitty situations. That life and troubles are temporary. That a cool head is better than a hot head. To think before you speak and act. To step away from things that are not good for them. That not everything is going to go their way all the time and tomorrow is a new day and a new chance for better things. That their attitude will either make them or break them.
Our children will learn many life lessons on their own, in their own time, but we can certainly do our part in preparing them for the bigger things. I am not gonna shit on public education. I’m sure they do a great job teaching our children algebra and how to dissect a frog (is that still a thing?), it’s all the other little things that are actually quite big, that isn’t the teacher’s job, it’s our job as parents.
My parents didn’t teach me shit. I had to learn everything the hard way. I know my son will learn some things the hard way too but if the least I could have ever done for him was instill some morals and values, then I’ve done a good job (and he also knows how to do his own laundry and cook).
Our children are the future. It matters what they learn today, from you.
(I honestly don’t know where this parenting blurb came from 😝)
Peace and Love
xo iva xo