I was a hairstylist for over 25 years and lemme tell ya, in that time, you sure come across a lot of interesting and peculiar things and people. I’d have to say that in my 25 years, I truly did enjoy my work. So much so that I even wrote a book about it.
The client/stylist relationship truly is a unique one. When you’ve been our client long enough, we know more about your life and problems than your own best friend, or even your therapist knows.
Yup, we know it all.
In keeping with the motto of “customer is always right” no matter what, we let a lot of shit slide. A lot. Because we truly do value your business and your loyalty and we really do love you
But this………without further ado and in no particular order of importance
- Don’t come to get your hair done when you have some sort of contagious sickness like, oh I dunno, the cold, the flu, shingles, whatever. If your doctor tells you you are contagious, stay the fuck home. I love you but I don’t feel the need to share your sickness with you. If I catch what you have, I have to stay home, miss work and lose pay. Unless you are prepared to pay my bills for me please stay home.
- Don’t bring your toddlers/babies/highly energetic or whiny children to the salon if you are getting a color or hilites. You’re gonna be here under a cape, rendered totally useless for at least two hours. I’m not a babysitter and neither are my co-workers. Leave your kids at home or get a babysitter. If you can’t find a sitter, re-book when you can. Your kids running around the salon is only cute to you. Trust me on that one.
- If you’re gonna be really late, like more than 30 minutes, have the courtesy to call please. We are on schedules. 9 times out of 10 there is someone booked in right after you. If you’re late, you set my whole day in chaos along with the remaining clients of the day. Don’t show up late, breeze in like the fucking queen of the world and expect me to drop everything and do your hair. It’s inconsiderate.
- The same rule applies if you are going to miss your appointment. Call. It takes two seconds. Unless you are in the emergency room, bleeding from the heart, delivering a baby, or someone is dying, call. I wait around for you for up to 30 minutes (salon rules) and pass up other clients because I’m waiting for you. It costs me money when you don’t show up or call. And it’s disrespectful.
- Don’t tell me you really want a change and then say “but don’t take anything off the length”. What exactly do you want me to change then? Do you want a mullet? I don’t do mullets. If you want a change, for the love of God, mean it. You get me excited for nothing otherwise.
- If you’re a new client, don’t sit in my chair and ask me if I know what I’m doing. “No. As a matter of fact I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I woke up this morning, decided I wanted to be a hairdresser and this place just hired me on the spot.” Do you ask your new dentist or doctor that? I have a certificate, proudly displayed, just like them. Yup. I had to go to school to learn how to do this. I’m a professional.
- If you happened to have one of the other girls in the salon do your hair last time you were here and you fucking hated it, don’t complain about it to me. She’s my co-worker and chances are, she’s probably my friend too. Don’t talk shit about the people I work with. I’m not the quality control board. If you had a problem, take it up with management and let it go. If you’re not sure you can trust any of the stylists here now because of her, then don’t come back. Your mistrust makes us uncomfortable and suddenly we have to prove ourselves to you. That’s not our job.
- Don’t assume that just because I’m ‘only’ a hairdresser that I don’t have an education or feelings. Don’t disrespect me. I’m also a human being. Just because you make more money than me, maybe even have a degree, and you live in a rich neighbourhood doesn’t give you the right to treat me like dirt. Your shit smells just like mine. Don’t be mean to me. It’s rude and ugly.
- Stay the fuck off your phone while I’m trying to do your hair. I don’t have time to stand around and wait while you talk to your best friend about how drunk you got last night and how much fun you had, bla bla bla, all the while I’m trying to either apply colour, hilites or worse yet, cut your hair. It’s almost impossible. You’re on my time too. Call her later. Please.
- and finally, don’t cause a scene about your hair. For some reason, the salon seems to be the best place in the world for women to lose their fucking minds over something. It’s hair, everything can be fixed and you’re acting like a child. You are also upsetting everyone in the salon. Please don’t do that. Everything can be handled in a mature manner. Honestly. Grow up.
Thank you for your business. Please come back soon! 😜
Peace and Love
xo iva xo