Humor
10 Things Women Over 50 Should Never Wear
Like never, ever, effin never!
You’re here because you’re either nearing 50, you are 50 or you’re over 50 and you have no clue what you should be wearing anymore. Like, is there a catalogue for age appropriate clothes for 50 year olds? Who knows.
Anyway, today I’m gonna tell you 10 things you should never wear as a woman over 50.
Never ever. Never.
How are we “supposed” to dress?
A lot of us have this question. I know I did. How the fuck should a 50 year old woman dress? Where is that catalogue to order clothes from? You know, like the Sear’s or Eaton’s catalogues. You remember those don’t you?
Remember that section for the ‘old ladies’? As 20 year olds we passed that section and went right to the hot sexy clothes. But we’re not 20 year olds anymore (insert crying emoji here).
Now before you get your high cut briefs in a bunch, please know that when I use the term ‘old ladies’ I don’t really mean it. We’re not old dammit. We are mighty fucking F.I.N.E.
Anyway, I have a small confession to make.
Every now and then I sit and wonder if I’m one of those 50 year old women who is desperately still trying to look 25. You know the ones. They’re in denial. They still think and act like a 25 year old (hard eye roll).
If you were to take a peek at my wardrobe you would think that a 25 year old lived in my house.
Did I become one of those women? Uggggh!!! I used to point and laugh at them 25 years ago. Is there a 25 year old somewhere out there pointing and laughing at me? (insert another crying emoji here).
Who designed our clothing line for us?
I often wondered who the person was who decided that once you hit 50 there is a selection of age appropriate clothes. “Oh I’m sorry, you just hit 50? Ok you can no longer shop in this section you must choose your wardrobe from that section waaaaaaaaay over there in the back corner”.
That guy. Who’s that guy? Was it a guy? I’m sad if it was a woman who came up with this unwritten rule.
